Sunday, May 2, 2010

Pengharapanku


bismillahirrahmanirrahim,



pulang kampung dengan bas,
bas masuk dalam longkang,
masaku disini cukup terbatas,
hanya coretan tempat menumpang.


tiada apa sebenarnya tempat lain untukku merungkai isi hatiku.this is the only place that i could seal out my expression.aku mulakan coretku dengan pantun agar melayu tidak lupa asal-usul sebenar.setelah sekian lama hidup iaitu hampir 19 tahun,aku baru dapat merasakan yang sebenarnya melayu hanya sedikit.apa rasianolnya aku cakap begitu?tidak lain dan tidak bukan kerana melayu yang kononnya islam asyik bertelagah sesama sendiri.saban hari kita terbaca secara sengaja mahupun tidak muka-muka akhbar mengenai perbalahan antara melayu.apakah tidak ada rasa kasih sayang antara kita.kemanakah hala tuju kita nanti?dimanakah tempat letak kita setelah 10 tahun akan datang?adakah akan tetap begini?aku tinggalkan soalan ini supaya aku dapat fikirkan apa yang akan berlaku.


inilah tanggapan peribadi aku tentang dunia malaysia sekarang.aku penat membaca perkara yang sama tiap-tiap kali aku membuka akhbar.aku inginkan sebuah kedamaian yang aku pasti susah untu digapai.aku pohon,aku pohon,aku pohon padaMu ya Allah agar Kau kuatkan segala iman didadaku.aku sebenarnya hanya insan biasa yang inginkan kehidupan lebih sempurna.pertama kalinya aku mestilah merubah sikap diriku,tanggapan insan lain terhadapku sebelum aku melangkah lebih jauh lagi.telah banyak kesalahanku yang lampau dimana ia terus membelenggu perasaanku, adakah aku bisa menahannya.aku harap aku dapat perbaiki segala kesilapanku yang telah lalu.

Sekian.

Friday, April 30, 2010

permata

sebelum tidur,izinkan ku mencoret sepatah dua kata.

aku telah jumpa permata yang jatuh,lalu aku kutip.
permata itu tidak berkilauan walaupun ku gilap siang dan malam,hari demi hari.
sehingga saat ini,ku masih menggilapnya,
ku harap suatu ketika nanti,
permata kembali bersinar,
seperti ia seakan-akan baru.
ku tetap akan gilap,ku tetap akan gilap.

Sekian.

hidupku sehingga pertengahan 2010

inilah saat-saat yang ditunggu-tunggu.
telah lama blog ku menghilang.kenapa ?bagaimana?siapa?itulah soalan-soalan guru-guru disekolah yang tiada kaitan dengan postku ini.

Hidupku pada 2o10 ini entah bagaimanalah.sehingga pertengahan tahun ini,hidupku masih seperti dahulu.tapi aku rasa kini aku makin tahu menilai apa yang ada didepan mahupun di belakang mataku.alhamdulillah.Aku telah menghabiskan 2 sem di utmkl,syukur kerana dpt dipanjangkan umur untuk hidup.dan sepanjang liku-likuku di uni,banyak cabaran yang telah aku hadapi.banyak dugaan yang ku terima., dan banyak duri yang telah ku pijak.

Aku merasakan keseorangan pabila masalah menimpa,terasa pedihnya segala yang jatuh di atas kepala., tetapi ku insan yang lemah memang benar-benar perlukan sahabat yang memahami., dan disaat aku di uni aku belajar semua erti seorang sahabat.dimana perlunya sahabat,bila,dan siapakah sahabat yang ku jumpa itu.

Pabila menjejakkan kakiku ke uni, barulah aku mengenali siapa diriku,apa kehendakku, kemanakah hala tujuku dan dimanakah aku berada sebenarnya. Hidup seorang perantau banyak mengajarku erti hidup yang sebenar. Itulah hakikatnya insan yang bernama Ashraf setelah menjejakkan kaki ke universiti.

Pengalaman masa dahuluku, banyak mengajarku.Aku pohon ampun dan maaf kepada insan-insan yang telah aku sakiti dan pijak satu ketika dahulu.Aku berharap tiada apa yang kalian simpan dalam hati kalian, kerana aku hanyalah insan yang lemah tidak mengerti apa itu erti kehidupan pada suatu ketika dahulu.

Telah banyak yang ku coretkan pagi ini.Cukuplah sekadar ini ku luahkan padamu, blogku.insan lain mungkin tidak mengerti isi hatiku, tapi hanya blog saja penemanku.

Sekian.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

long time no see

tajuk nye lam bi,tpi aku tulis lam bm jea.pnat nk taip lam bi.tpi lam bm pon pnat gak kan.tpi taip gak lam bm.sebab 1malaysia..bukan 1inggerisia.ntah apo2 lar ak tulis.

tpi xpola,sebab dah lama tak menulih dalam blog ni.,ak nk bgtau yg hidup di sem 2 ni agak ttekan ar.sbb ad orang tekan ak ar..tekan dari atas.tpi tak ada kaitan pn.

itulah,tapi disini aku tetap jadi solo.belajar solo,hidup solo,makan solo..soloman ar wei....

Sunday, June 21, 2009

  • Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time?

tanah melayu ku trcinta

  • Are you waiting for something?

waiting 4 da salji turun kt m'sia

  • What were you doing at ten last night?

on9 kt tenet.

  • What was the last thing you drank?

susu baby.haha

  • If you could have something right now, what would it be?

my ambition

  • Want someone back in your life?

of kos.but dat juz my dream

  • Do you prefer hot or cold weather?

average...not cold n hot.but btween .

  • Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
    by wearing boxer n singlet,ok kot
  • When was the last time you took a shower?

laz nite

  • Who were you on the phone with yesterday morning?

noo.. i wonder if sum1 called me ..

  • How many months until your birthday?

1year 2 go

  • What are you listening to?

atas nama cinta.

  • Do you want to see somebody right now?

yerp!..if i could so..

  • Have you ever read Twilight?

dun like.ive seen its movie.,so boring

  • What do you usually get commented on?

lawak2

  • Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?

nope..im olwez sleep n dream..its better

  • In the past week have you felt sad?

no need 2 feel sad.

  • Last person you texted?

my bf..bestfrnd lor,not boyfrnd

  • How many people have you kissed in the past 12 months?

1.my mom

  • Have you ever done anything illegal?

no.

  • Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad?

both.

  • Where will you be 12 hours from now?

bank..

  • Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?

dunnow

  • Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
notim 2 wear.
  • Is it easy for people to make you smile?

nooooooooooooooooooo

  • Does anyone hate you for no reason?

dun think so

  • Can you make yourself cry?

noooooooooooooooo

  • How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

xkira

  • Is your life simple or complicated?

simple

  • Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yerp..i wanna 2 appreciate her.

  • Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?

wyoming?kt afrika ke?ke kt uk?

  • What are you doing tomorrow?

xtau.

  • Do you think you would make a good parent?

yeahhhh

  • What is your favorite kind of ice cream?

dunnow

  • What was your last place of employment?

ntah

  • Are you taller than 5 foot 4 inches?

yesza.


Has anyone ever borrowed something from you and never returned it?

ade.curi

  • Do you fall for people easily?

nopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • Everything happens for a reason.Agree?

yerp.ade hikmah

  • Have you ever liked anyone on your myspace?

noo

  • Do you find members of the opposite sex confusing?

not really

  • When is the last time you saw a big group of friends?

yesterday.

  • What are you listening to right now?

2 da song of fan..

  • How has the week been?

simple as ever

  • Is there something you wish you could tell someone but you cant?

yes.i wanna tell her dat plz gve me another chance.but its all over

  • What's the colour of your shirt?

blue ,ocean blue

  • Are you wearing any contact lens currently?

nopeee

  • Are you doing 2 things at one time now?

yerp.typing dis shit tag n ym.wakakaka

  • Do you know of anyone who likes you right now?

nopee..no one ..i think no one

  • Do you love the person who last gave you a message?

of kos no!he is a guy n of kos my bf.

  • At what age do you want to be married?

26

  • Are you listening to any songs?

no

  • Who last gave you a hug?

my mom

  • What will you be sleeping with?

myself

  • What's the colour of your room?

colourless

  • What did you do last few mins?

makan

  • When did you last played like a child?

olwez

  • Are you looking forward to any activities today?

malas

  • Would you ever tell a certain person you like the person?

noo

  • What's your plan for your next bday?

xtau

  • Who's bday is coming up?

my lil sis,qilah

  • When is your birthday ?

may 6

  • Are you wearing any nail polish right now?

xle.tmbh2 org laki

  • Who is at home?
xde owg.me sorng je

kenapa

kenapa aku jadi begini?adake patut ak dituduh begitu?aku xbersalah..aku tau aku byk buat salah dulu.tpi takkan bila aku da berubah,owg msih lagi anggp aku macam dlu?

kenapa?..air kelapa?ape kaitan kenapa dan air kelapa?macam2 lar..

ok,back to da topik...aku tak kisah org laen nk benci aku kae apew ke..y penting aku da mintak maaf pda owg2 y aku wt salah dlu..

aku pun ade hati gak...aik?manusia smua ade ati.kalo alien mmg xde.ape la ko...wuu.

ok2,tu je ...bye2

breakeven

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)